The other day some friends and I were waiting in a longish line at a popular pizza place. The weather was fantastic, and we had a dog with us, so we were excited to sit outside. But with so many people there, how?
I got to watch my mind go through a fascinating process.
We could just grab the first table that opens, and hang out until we order and get the pizza. But then what about the people ahead of us? Where would they sit?
On the other hand, there were others there who seemed to be employing exactly that strategy. If that's just what it takes to get a table these days, maybe I should just embrace it?
No, I should take the high road and wait, and be at peace with the fact that others aren't as considerate as I'd like them to be (and as considerate as me).
But I can't change the world by myself, and there's really nothing more lonely and depressing than being the Lone Buddha.
Argh.
Well what if I took joy in generosity? Not the kind of self-congratulating joy that's waiting for a pat on the back, but genuine joy?
Something in my mind is warning me that it's a trap: it's the booby prize, the most extreme of delusions, that tells me that everything's fine -- no, wonderful! -- when I'm really just a doormat.
Just for kicks, sometimes I decide to put that warning on mute. If I'm a doormat, I'm going to be the most joyful doormat in the damn universe. Bring it.
And perhaps it's just a coincidence, but sometimes unexpected doors seem to open up as a result. Doors of opportunity, doors of delight. Doors hidden in plain sight, that somehow I didn't notice. Were these doors always there, waiting for me to notice, or is the universe generating them as a response to these connections with love?
And I start to notice the people I didn't see before, being generous just out of sight. I'm not alone after all! Maybe there's hope!
I have to be careful not to see this all as just another transactional interaction: I be nice, universe pays me back. That's just being a karma whore. But I'm also not capable of being good just because it's the "right thing to do." I'm also now convinced it's not healthy.
But somewhere deep inside, I know that there's a more beautiful world possible. I don't know how to get from here to there, but sometimes I can hear the universe beckoning with an encouraging word.
I hope I one day have the courage to follow it down the rabbit hole.
I got to watch my mind go through a fascinating process.
We could just grab the first table that opens, and hang out until we order and get the pizza. But then what about the people ahead of us? Where would they sit?
On the other hand, there were others there who seemed to be employing exactly that strategy. If that's just what it takes to get a table these days, maybe I should just embrace it?
No, I should take the high road and wait, and be at peace with the fact that others aren't as considerate as I'd like them to be (and as considerate as me).
But I can't change the world by myself, and there's really nothing more lonely and depressing than being the Lone Buddha.
Argh.
Well what if I took joy in generosity? Not the kind of self-congratulating joy that's waiting for a pat on the back, but genuine joy?
Something in my mind is warning me that it's a trap: it's the booby prize, the most extreme of delusions, that tells me that everything's fine -- no, wonderful! -- when I'm really just a doormat.
Just for kicks, sometimes I decide to put that warning on mute. If I'm a doormat, I'm going to be the most joyful doormat in the damn universe. Bring it.
And perhaps it's just a coincidence, but sometimes unexpected doors seem to open up as a result. Doors of opportunity, doors of delight. Doors hidden in plain sight, that somehow I didn't notice. Were these doors always there, waiting for me to notice, or is the universe generating them as a response to these connections with love?
And I start to notice the people I didn't see before, being generous just out of sight. I'm not alone after all! Maybe there's hope!
I have to be careful not to see this all as just another transactional interaction: I be nice, universe pays me back. That's just being a karma whore. But I'm also not capable of being good just because it's the "right thing to do." I'm also now convinced it's not healthy.
But somewhere deep inside, I know that there's a more beautiful world possible. I don't know how to get from here to there, but sometimes I can hear the universe beckoning with an encouraging word.
I hope I one day have the courage to follow it down the rabbit hole.
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